Fitting in

After only a two-week hiatus from Lutheran worship, I was truly comforted by getting back to "my people" at the Lutheran Church of the Holy Trinity in Kona. I preached there and lead an adult education forum this past Sunday.

After bopping around Oahu and the Big Island for 3 days by myself, it was like coming home. And it was church the way it speaks to me: liturgy, confession, lectionary, hymns I know, and, best of all, holy communion. My soul said "ahh."

The people of LCHT were gracious and supportive. I received a beautiful lei of orchids to wear and people hugged me like family and thanked me for coming. What's more, there were some Alaskans there! For you Central folks, I ran into Herbert and Kathryn Eckmann, Milf and Eleanor Knutson (well, former Alaskans) and Jonathan Ward. It was good fun to see my people.

So, awash in a Lutheran glow, I headed across the island into not-quite-as-familiar territory. I drove to the Hilo side of the island, dropped off the rental car and met up with fellow yogis taking the shuttle to the Kalani retreat center, about 45 minutes drive away.

The Hilo side is the rainy side and it down-poured along the way. When I arrived, I was surprised at the accomodations. I had expected a resort (based on the price charged and the glowing reviews from acquaintances). What I found instead (still nice, just not what I expected) was a more rustic camp which reminds me of a cross between the Bible camp I worked at in college (EWALU, Strawberry Point, Iowa) and what I imagine Holden Village to be.

The retreat center is a campus in a jungle. The accommodations are very simple, the buildings are older and the trails are muddy and rooted. The focus here is on organic food, sustainability, recycling and community (which I love). It's a spiritual community, which I love too, but I was missing my Lutheran connections already. There really is something special about gathering with fellow Christians. Still, I reminded myself about the spiritual practice of letting go and being open to the experience. One of my sabbatical goals is to allow myself to be surprised.

We are one of several retreat groups meeting here, doing yoga twice a day with plenty of free time in the afternoon to explore and relax. It is beautiful here and I feel myself slowing down.

I'm still a pastor, though, and most people don't know it. When I'm in situations like that, I have some anxiety about how I'll be outed.

So, I was sitting at dinner tonight with a fellow Alaskan who I'd just met. We were on our way to a yoga philosophy class that evening. He mentioned some "philosophy" that he discussed recently while he was "stoned," (his vocabulary). I smiled politely. There was a pause in the conversation and then he said, "So what do you do for a living?"

I smiled just as politely and said I was a Lutheran pastor. I always wonder if this will be a conversation stopper but it was a starter with this one. He was a former Catholic and asked me all kinds of questions about Lutherans, the Reformation and the like. I noticed more than one person at the table leaning in to listen.

It felt good, you know, to just be me.