Anxiously devoted to you

Alaska Lutheran clergy gathered April 22-23 in Clergy Collegium for fellowship and continuing education.

One of our speakers was Michael Nel, ELCA Region 1 consultation to clergy.

Nel spoke about "Societal Emotinal Process" and "Societal Regression." Now doesn't that make you sit up and take note :)

Actually, it was all about anxious families making anxious societies. Got any anxieties? Read on, gentle reader.

Working from the writings of psychologist Murray Bowen, Nel noted that our society seems to be chronically anxious. How do you know when a society is anxious? A few ways to know:

1.) Responding with emotionality, rather than sound decisions based on principles.
2.) Discussions about how to manage anxiety, rather than underlying problems.
3.) A push for "togetherness" or "sameness" to manage anxiety.
4.) Making lots of rules to manage anxiety.
5.) Focus on rights rather than responsibilities.
6.) Desire for "quick fix."

Any of these happening in our country post-9.11? Any of these ever happen in your family?

Nel suggested behaviors around security, intelligence and "band-aid" legislation as some indications of chronic anxiety in our society.

So how can we deal with anxieties in our self, family and world?

Some suggestions, per Nel:
1.) Look inside yourself, rather than looking for someone else to fix it.
2.) Ask for the facts, become objective, rather than emotionally responsive.
3.) Meditate.
4.) Go to a physical place where you can be more thoughtful.
5.) Make "I" statments to define who you are and what you want/need.
6.) Be aware of anxiety's ability to make you push for togetherness or sameness.

Nel also noted that in marriage counseling, he pushes couples to do exercises separately so they can be more grounded in self before bringing them back together.

He also said abuse occurs more often in families where there is forced togetherness or sameness.