I opened the devotion book to that night's reading:
"I pray that I consider my sin and the sin of the world so that, sorrowful and broken, it might drive me to Christ." (or something like that!)
Ugh. Ponder my sinful nature. No thanks. My life's good. Why would I want to waste time feeling bad? I just couldn't get excited about this one.
I'm working through a devotional book from my spiritual director (To Walk With Christ). It's based on the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignagtius. Each week has a prayer focus, scripture readings and an encouragement to journal. Past weeks have asked me to ponder God's love for me and ponder the gifts of God in my life. These were fun; I just wasn't into feeling down about my sin.
A couple days later, I looked at the texts for Reformation Sunday, on which I'll preach. Romans 3:23: "Since all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." Well, of course I know as Lutherans we recognize ourselves as saint-sinner. But I kept hearing in the back of my head the voice of a college friend who once told me, "You know, I don't really think of myself as a sinner."
So what's this about? Hubris? Pride? Dependency on my own gifts instead of God's? Worshipping the false idol of myself? Probably something in there is true. Douglas John Hall warns, for example, that sometimes we don't really love others, we love ourselves for pretending to love others.
I don't think I've quite answered this for myself, so I'm not going to leave you with the "right" answer, just ask the question again: How do I ponder my sinful nature in a real way when my life's good?
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Almost Famous
Sometimes pastors get to be talking heads. I pray we say things that matter.
I did a news interview with CBS Channel 11 today. The topic: the US House was unable to override President Bush's veto of the SCHIP bill that would reauthorize spending for health insurance for uninsured kids. I wore my AFACT hat (Anchorage Faith and Action, Congregations Together -- which is a community organizing ecumenical group --and I'm on the board). The clip will air tonight (Oct. 18) at 5 and 6 pm news.
The bill impacts Alaskans. Families at 100% of poverty level get Medicaid. Families who can afford it or have adequate employer coverage use private insurance. In AK, those who are at %175 of poverty level or below, get insurance through DenaliKidCare, which is 70 % funded by the federal government. So, now that SCHIP has failed, we wonder if/when/how Alaska will fund DenaliKidCare.
The reporter wanted to know AFACT's reaction and what we'll do next. I said we were disappointed, though pleased that Rep. Don Young did vote to override the veto. I also said we'll keep talking to our state reps (which AFACT members are doing right now) and find out their vision of children's health care. We'll also keep talking with families.
It must be frightening to be a parent with no insurance for your children, or choose between rent, food or insurance.
I don't remember the strain, but I grew up without health insurance. My parents were farmers and couldn't afford private coverage. We did lots of home remedies and only went to the doctor when absolutely necessary. When my younger sister was born, my parents slowly paid the hospital bill in installments. Thank God no one was ever seriously hurt. When I was in college, my parents were able to find a state-sponsored health insurance for my sister, so she did grow up with this aid.
Anyway, I certainly don't have all the answers, but not helping working parents provide health care for their kids is not acceptable.
I did a news interview with CBS Channel 11 today. The topic: the US House was unable to override President Bush's veto of the SCHIP bill that would reauthorize spending for health insurance for uninsured kids. I wore my AFACT hat (Anchorage Faith and Action, Congregations Together -- which is a community organizing ecumenical group --and I'm on the board). The clip will air tonight (Oct. 18) at 5 and 6 pm news.
The bill impacts Alaskans. Families at 100% of poverty level get Medicaid. Families who can afford it or have adequate employer coverage use private insurance. In AK, those who are at %175 of poverty level or below, get insurance through DenaliKidCare, which is 70 % funded by the federal government. So, now that SCHIP has failed, we wonder if/when/how Alaska will fund DenaliKidCare.
The reporter wanted to know AFACT's reaction and what we'll do next. I said we were disappointed, though pleased that Rep. Don Young did vote to override the veto. I also said we'll keep talking to our state reps (which AFACT members are doing right now) and find out their vision of children's health care. We'll also keep talking with families.
It must be frightening to be a parent with no insurance for your children, or choose between rent, food or insurance.
I don't remember the strain, but I grew up without health insurance. My parents were farmers and couldn't afford private coverage. We did lots of home remedies and only went to the doctor when absolutely necessary. When my younger sister was born, my parents slowly paid the hospital bill in installments. Thank God no one was ever seriously hurt. When I was in college, my parents were able to find a state-sponsored health insurance for my sister, so she did grow up with this aid.
Anyway, I certainly don't have all the answers, but not helping working parents provide health care for their kids is not acceptable.
Monday, October 08, 2007
Faith, starring Glenn P.
Can I just say that I love working with our new senior pastor Glenn Petersen? This sounds like I'm sucking up but he preached a good sermon on faith yesterday. Here, a few gems worth repeating.
* Faith is not a choice but it prompts choice.
* Faith is personal but not private.
* We don't own our faith. Our faith owns us. (It belongs to a community).
* Faith lives in us. It's not something we have.
* We "keep the faith" by living it, by giving our love, compassion, kindness away.
Good stuff, eh? Thanks Glenn!
* Faith is not a choice but it prompts choice.
* Faith is personal but not private.
* We don't own our faith. Our faith owns us. (It belongs to a community).
* Faith lives in us. It's not something we have.
* We "keep the faith" by living it, by giving our love, compassion, kindness away.
Good stuff, eh? Thanks Glenn!
Tuesday, October 02, 2007
What do they expect us to be?
I'm preaching a sermon series at our 9:45 contemporary service on doubt. More specifically, on "Why Christian?" by Douglas John Hall. It's an apologetic for Christianity and an honest look at why we believe the things we believe as Christians.
Last Sunday (9.30) was on "What difference does Christianity make?" When I spoke of faith as trust (not certainty), a few people had comments.
One young man (married, 2 elementary-aged kids) said people outside of churches expect (want, demand?) Christians to be unwavering in faith. He reminded us of the upset of the recently discovered letters of Mother Teresa's doubts. He said we may feel free to express doubts in church but "out there" there's a different expectation.
I was troubled by his comment. Perhaps it rang too true.
I do have doubts, at times, and feel it's most healthy to live those questions in community, as well as in my personal prayer time. In my work with young adults, I feel my honesty about doubts are actually a strength.
I wonder this: why do those outside or marginally outside chruches want us to be so steadfast? What purpose or role does this serve? Is it just a symptom of a black-and-white culture that wants easy answers?
I don't know. This seems opposite from Hall. He says doubt make us seem MORE relevant to the world. He suggested that if Christians were more honest about their doubts, our answers would be more compelling.
I wonder, finally, if focusing on what others want/need isn't the right place to start? Maybe we still start from out centered self -- centered on Jesus Christ as the particular expression of the abstract God -- so centered that we are free to doubt as part of a loving relationship with God.
Last Sunday (9.30) was on "What difference does Christianity make?" When I spoke of faith as trust (not certainty), a few people had comments.
One young man (married, 2 elementary-aged kids) said people outside of churches expect (want, demand?) Christians to be unwavering in faith. He reminded us of the upset of the recently discovered letters of Mother Teresa's doubts. He said we may feel free to express doubts in church but "out there" there's a different expectation.
I was troubled by his comment. Perhaps it rang too true.
I do have doubts, at times, and feel it's most healthy to live those questions in community, as well as in my personal prayer time. In my work with young adults, I feel my honesty about doubts are actually a strength.
I wonder this: why do those outside or marginally outside chruches want us to be so steadfast? What purpose or role does this serve? Is it just a symptom of a black-and-white culture that wants easy answers?
I don't know. This seems opposite from Hall. He says doubt make us seem MORE relevant to the world. He suggested that if Christians were more honest about their doubts, our answers would be more compelling.
I wonder, finally, if focusing on what others want/need isn't the right place to start? Maybe we still start from out centered self -- centered on Jesus Christ as the particular expression of the abstract God -- so centered that we are free to doubt as part of a loving relationship with God.
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