I keep hearing this concern from the young women in my congregation: where are the men? Oh yes, we know where they are: hunting, fishing, disc golfing, running, eating pizza at Moose's Tooth, drinking beer at Humpy's. But they don't seem to be at church. Why is this?
The ELCA had attempted to address this by doing what we do best: studying it! So far, I haven't seen any satisfactory answers.
Is the church too feminine? Are people in churches asked to connect in ways that seem archaic or irrelevant to men? Is it too much talk about feelings?
I had lunch today with two "older" churchmen, both pastors, once LCMS. We talked about this missing men problem.
One suggested we go where the men are, build relationships by doing, or just hanging out. This can work, I think. Of course our youth director tried this here at Central...took two high school boys trap shooting...and heard some criticism for this. But maybe ministry with men has to look different, so maybe that's okay!
My thought was providing opportunties to serve. Working for Habitat for Humanity, for example, or our Central mission trip to rebuild homes in Texas post-hurricane (this November!), are good ways to serve. I love what Changepoint (a big non-deom in Anchorage) does with their Rightway Auto. Church members volunteer to use their mechanic skills to help low-income families with car problems. Supercool, I think.
My lunch partners today seemed to think these were good ideas.
But one pushed me further.
The problem with our church, he said, is that we've lost our sense of adventure.
Did we have one in the first place, I wondered?
Anyway, his point is that church is kind of boring (he's a pastor). And sometimes, I agree. I mean, life with God is supposed to be a very uncertain adventure, not a programmed list of rules to follow. God is one leading us into the future with open eyes, not one keeping us stuck in the past.
Interesting idea. Now how does this help us with our young men concern?
I'm still working on this one....
1 comment:
I think perhaps there is something to this "adventure" theory. Look at recent Gospel reading in the lectionary... "I have come to divide", "You should be shrewd like the unjust steward", etc. It is not the warm-fuzzy, let's be nice message that we tend to carry into our children's sermons and then carry through our entire congregations. In my opinion we've worked towards creating a Norman Rockwell world inside the doors of the church. Yet the last time I looked closely at it Jesus was not killed for creating warm fuzzies and making people comfortable. It seems an unfortunate disconnect to me... I just don't know how to change it.
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